If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
