I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
