my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
