We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
