I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
