you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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