he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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