The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
