party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
