Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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