I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
