There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
