The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
