I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
whose parrot is this?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
