i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
