Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I hope mine doesn't look like that
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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