is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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