so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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