Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
