Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
