When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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