I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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