ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
