Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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