this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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