I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
