Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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