shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
