He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Randomize
