it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
