you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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