I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
