is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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