So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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