is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
