Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He better not be in your backpack
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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