it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
