i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
