Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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