i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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