dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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