I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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