You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I am naked and annoyed.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
