Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
