He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
