i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
