you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Randomize
