What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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