so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
