turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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