dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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